things are looking up..

In my lame attempt to actually believe that I'd lost more weight in only a few days, I weighed myself again today. I used the scale at my job because of two reasons 1.) it's just fun to use and it's huge 2.) it's accurate (well except for the date and time..which is still really funny to me).
I lost another 2 pounds!
Holy crapballs.
I can't believe it! And it's at a low 197. If I keep this up, I'm going to be able to eat all of the Nutella with Nilla Wafers that I want! Now that's really livin'.

2 more pounds.
Goodness.
I'll definitely post some before and after shots soon.. I need to make sure I look at least halfway decent in the photos. Unless you guys want me wearing my ugly work clothes.. because bleach stains are hot as heck.

*****

Yesterday would have been my dad's 63rd birthday if he were still alive. He passed away in late 2007 so I can't believe that it's been that long since he passed away. I still have yet to figure out why it's harder each year. You'd think it would be easier. Then BLAM here comes their birthday. Depressing. Sorry about that. Last year on March 29th my grandfather (my dad's dad) passed away. Isn't that crazy? He passed away on the day that his son was born. Yeeesh..
I found this out a few days ago. I had no idea. My side of the family, as you can see, is very weird about this sort of stuff because I'm actually blogging about how I pretty much didn't have any real relationship with either of my grandparents. Come to think of it, other than childhood memories (when I was really small..about the ages between 3 and 6) I didn't have any real relationship with my mom's parents either.
That's why I LOVE how my children don't have to worry about that. Thank god for that. Seriously.
Breaking that cycle feels fantastic.

*****

Hay fever sucks. That is all.

*****

I have my first appointment with a psychologist on April 11th to finally begin the process of taking care of this problem. I won't blog about my visits because well... you know. I will update about things are evolving with my phobia, though. That I will most definitely do.
I'm actually really excited about this.. it's all in the beginning of something changing for me.. and my brain. I can't wait to feel happy again.. and normal.
I'm really excited.