just some sentences.

I never realized it until today. Or should I say, I never admitted it to myself before until today, that I have a mental bucket list. I read other people's lists and admire them.. but I never make one for myself. It's all up here, in my noggin. And I'll keep adding to it. One wish at a time.

One of those wishes is to visit the Netherlands. Amsterdam to be a teeny tiny more exact. I have Dutch heritage, and while I know of no living ancestors thanks to my weird family, it'd be nice to see where a part of me comes from. And no I don't want to visit there only because of the pot. Or the prostitutes that hang out in windows all night. Or because things are so carefree there. For some reason I am drawn to that place. And if it is because of the pot so what? I don't even smoke it but it'd be so awesome to just waltz into a "cafe" as they call it, and stare at those who partake in that type of "activity". Just watch them. And probably giggle a bit from the contact high.

I like quotes.

I haven't smoked pot in a few years. Even when I tried it it made my anxiety way worse. Other people get the munchies. I get the FREAK OUT episodes deep inside my head.
It's just not for me. I much prefer to freak out totally sober. Which is boring, I know.

I tried to make the switch from caffeinated tea from my 1 cup a coffee a day habit. Let's just say, it wasn't cool of me to try that. At least not now. Not yet. The kids were blown away about how grumpy mommy gets. I know they thought I was losing it those days.
I can't believe how weird and crazy I get without coffee. And I have to type this again, I drink about 1 cup a day. It really is a drug. I wouldn't go as far as to call it "liquid crack" but it kind of is like liquid meth. Or at least that's what I pretend it to be.

Natalie told me today that she wants to be a big sister. I believe her. But I know that owning a dog in the future would take care of that need. She just wants something to follow her around instead of how things usually are for her- she following her big brother around.
The whole cat thing didn't work out for mah lungs. Can't do that again. Sorry Natalie.

It's been so incredibly warm and beautiful here in Denver for the past several days. All of the humungous snow mounds from winter have just about all melted away. All that's left are dirty piles of dirt and rocks in their place. I love that. My mood also loves this weather. No matter how exhausted my lazy ass is, I still make sure to get Natalie outside during the week. She's already acquired new freckles on her cheeks and James is more tan than ever. He's also acquire new freckles on his nose.

The kids really need to take separate baths now. Gosh, why am I so lazy that I still wash them together? Things are really going to get weird when they're like 8 and 9. Ew. Nah. I won't let that happen. And I can't let that happen. I think there's like a law about that, or something.
James loves LOVES showers. Natalie HATES hate showers. I think that's my source for laziness right there. Also, the environment!!!! Well, maybe.

There's a tiny possibility that the husband may be able to re-enroll at school again next month. He's so hopeful. Gosh, so am I! He really misses it. I miss it, too. Watching him study and draw diagrams and label things and study with his glasses.. and then say something like "you know, your longissimus capitis is an amazing muscle that..." and then I zone out. But I like hearing all of that boring medical language. It makes me feel smart just pretending to listen. ; )

completely random and allover the place- just how I like it.

Yes. I'm a bad blogger. Bad, bad blogger.
This post is brought to you by 2 busy playing children- James sans clothing of course while playing out scenes from "Cars 2" and Natalie stuffing all of her special stuffed animals in a box and calling it a "boat".
It's also a chance for a me to not be so lazy. God I'm lazy.
I would say preoccupied, but I'm just lazy. I can't keep trying to be fancy. Every time I want to post something I get more preoccupied with my laziness. Because so much has been going on since my last post from a WHOLE MONTH ago, I'll begin with my top 11 list of things that have been going on around these here parts:

11.) The kids are at the ages where they have developed weird fears. Such as..Natalie is terrified of this character from an app (particularly the sad face and then there's a wwwaaah wah waaaah sound).

She screams like she's being murdered if her brother makes her look at it. I finally deleted that app. They always handed it off to me to play it anyway. They just wanted it to repeat things to them but if there was anything involved to keep the stupid giraffe happy, I had to do it. I felt like I was on an episode of "16 and pregnant".
James is terrified of less animalistic stuff. He keeps asking about tornadoes, hail, and earthquakes. How can you tell them to not be afraid when right on the surface, you're terrified too. But I let him talk it out and remind him that he should be more leery of the tornado-like boys in his class. He agreed.

10.) I found an entire patch of gray hair the other day. As in IN MY HAIR. On my HEAD. A whole patch. I'm letting the red color grow out (it was a little too red for my pasty white lady skin) and I let out a big gasp when I saw it. Now I just cover it up with other hair when I do my usual sexy pulled back split second ponytail. Sexy.

9.) Speaking of the word sexy... the kids have learned that word. The other night as I'm tucking James into bed, he says with a humungous grin, "you're sexy mom". I of course (teenage brain of mine in high gear here) ask him "do you know what that word means?" and he says "yes, beautiful".
I'll take it. Also, you just earned yourself some brownie points my dear son.
I walk out of the room and in the dark I hear both kids singing "I'm sexy and I know it.."
aHAhahahaAAAAHHH. NO NO NO

8.) We are in the middle of getting everything filed for our bankruptcy. We are almost 3 months away from being debt-free. Debt. Free. Those words... I can't even comprehend them. I don't think I ever will. We were served more garnishment papers today (yay) and it felt great to say "I'll let my attorney see this". I felt like such a grown-up. And a little like I was on Law and Order.

7.) James has lost 2 teeth in the past few weeks! He has very solid beliefs in the tooth fairy. I never really mentioned the tooth fairy so this is all on his own. And of course, I've had fun with it. Googling "first tooth lost fairy letter" late at night to print and give to him was a real parenting moment. Also, carrying human teeth in my purse for a day was kind of freaky. James has made $6 so far. The running rate in this household is $3 a tooth or until I just forget to give the money. I also am pushing James to save up for a new scooter because his other one is broken. He won't ride his pretty red bike from his 5th birthday. I know. It's still sitting there. I dusted it off the other day and it still looks like it came off of the store display. You want to scream at your 6 year old.. "OMG YOU HAVE SUCH A KICKASS BIKE RIDE IT OR I WILL OMG I NEVER HAD A BIKE AS A KID AAHHHGRRRRRR". One time, out of being frustrated with him, I actually did that and tried to ride it and instead I made a huge ass out of myself.

6.) Natalie plays "fashion show". It's where she walks with her face all serious, eyes looking up, and does this funny butt wiggle. The kind of butt wiggle that makes you want to cry because it's your 4 year old doing it. She makes me participate, so I have to say (and she's very specific about this) while she goes down the imaginary catwalk, "here comes Natalie wearing her beautiful cat ears and tail". And she does her poses and wiggle.

5.) The husband working nights is difficult. It's a really good problem to have. If he's working any shift then we are super happy and super lucky. But it's hard when from Monday through Thursday we can't have dinner together as a family. Our dinner is actually all over the place those days. Some days I start making dinner at 3 just so he has something to eat for the night and the kids are at the snack time part of the day. And even I'm still full from lunch. It's just.... awkward. Yeah, awkward. But we'll deal.

4.) The husband is also still eager to go back to school to finish his MT degree. He will and I keep telling him that it will happen. I'm pretty naggy so he knows I won't let him not go back. I also have to be naggy with myself. I still don't know what I want to go back to school for. I know I want an education. It's a huge goal of mine that I feel very passionate about. But I just don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

3.) If you look in my search history on this computer you'll find "how to become a lactation consultant". Yeah. Things like that. That was a very late Monday night search that I'll probably never search again. But it's proof that I have no idea what I'm doing.

2.) James had a 2 day stomach bug last month and I must say! I am very proud of myself. I was the only one around to clean it up (so much for my plan) and despite my sheer phobia and anxiety over barf and my overuse of Lysol and Clorox wipes, I didn't freak out as much as I thought I would. I also witnessed my own Exorcist moment from a child older than an infant for the first time ever. I actually thought a long deep thought while it happened- I kept thinking "wow...that's a whole shitload of puke..why is it still coming out? it's a fucking geyser. Oh dear god it's a geyser! yeah that's what it is! Wow... I guess he shouldn't have had that banana 12 hours ago... I wonder if I'm dreaming this.. I mean it is 4:30 in the morning.. I really have to pee...oh YUP NOW THE PUKE IS ALL OVER MY SOCKS AND PANTS OMGOMGOMG".

I was still finding chunks over a week later.

And that was that.
Also, my germaphobic ways sort of paid off- no one else caught it! The husband says he did but he says he catches everything everyone gets and I don't see proof. When I had my sinus infection several months ago he said he had one too. When I gave birth to both kids he said that his contractions were bad, too. There's a small chance he may be worse than me.
Or not. Oh well.

1.) Much to the hard work of many Colorado mamas and other special people connected to CHDs, February 24th was marked as the official "Children's Heart Day" in Colorado. Thanks to this mama bear, Amanda Adams, we are now going to have pilot studies completed by the end of the year, so newborn babies can have the pulse oximetry used to check the oxygenation in their blood. This critical bill will have a much BIGGER chance of passing once the studies determine which numbers are too low and what would raise a red flag for a baby with a possible heart condition. This is so huge.

And that concludes the 11 things that my brain can remember right now.

I'd rather be transparent and poor. Ok, maybe not poor.

You already know that my family's financial situation has been super transparent.
Why do I do that?
Because to be totally selfish here, it makes me feel better to dish it out. For years growing up in the financial situation that existed was anything but awesome. It was really crappy. And us kids were left in the dark about it. I mean, we knew that we lived off of welfare and food stamps and government cheese (many at times I remember visiting a food pantry), but as a kid, you don't quite understand it.
When I grew out of that situation I worked really hard to be okay. I may not have achieved much in the career department, but I worked and worked and worked before I had kids. And oddly enough, I kind of liked immersing myself into making an income that eventually, paid decently. Once Rick and I got together, we doubled our income and we were set.
But there was zero safety net. There was no savings. There was nothing set aside "in case of". We lived paycheck to paycheck and we were horrible with our money.

And it's not until you are absolutely without something then you realize "oh shit.. something is not right here.. hmm..maybe I should fix this". And we didn't. We still had no safety net when we had children and as they toddled around.. and with being a stay at home mom, we lived off of one full time income for 4 people, instead of a double income for only 2 people. Even the part time work I did barely paid for groceries for a few days. Once the layoffs began in 2007, we lived off of credit cards, a line of home equity, and if we were lucky, some random unemployment checks would come in. And if we were doubly lucky, Rick would get some hours to work here and there.
Shit got real.

Let's fast-forward to now.

I'm mostly a stay at home mom again, working some shifts here and there.. really scattered. Rick has a full time job that pays just enough for us to survive THANKFULLY. We have a 4 and a 6 year old and piles of debt lugged onto our shoulders as far as the eye could see, and all of it (I mean ALL of it) from 2007 through 2009. Let me also take a quick step back- we take full responsibility for our debt. We OWN this debt. I don't blame the banks.. I don't trust them.. but it's not their faults that we made the conscience decisions, on multiple occasions, to use THEM to bail US out of our shitty situation. Some people would even say, "but it really wasn't your fault" and shit you guys, I used that quote too a few times. But in essence, it really is our debt and if we don't take full responsibility for it, then me even writing this post means nothing.

Back to being totally transparent..

I just said to the husband last week, and I've been saying it, literally, every day since..that it's shocking that we haven't heard anything lately about our debts. We have a foreclosure, about 4 credit cards that piled up into major debt, and a line of equity all sitting there. I warned him (and myself because let's be fair here) that there is going to be a day soon where the banks will start garnishing his paychecks. He nodded and said that we both agreed to use our savings to get the bankruptcy stuff begun. It was getting scary. Just like children, if things are quiet..too quiet.. that can't be good.
Keep in mind, we haven't received any letters lately.. gosh, it's been a really long time and usually it was a letter saying "hey, let's settle this debt for this amount" which still always ended up being a number that I couldn't even wrap my head around.
But today I was proven that banks can pretty much take whatever they want whenever they want because they completely cleared our savings account. Oh no no WAIT! they left us a penny! So, technically they didn't take it all.

After letting out some really bad obscenities for a solid 10 minutes, I realized that that wouldn't help too much and so I sat down with the husband to think of a solution. To just rant.. and to think of a solution out of this shitty mess. Ok, I also had a major freak out moment on Facebook.. but that really did help me out. Free therapy from some wonderful people. Anyone who can deal with my drama on there is A+ in my book. Oy the drama.

So, we are at the garnishment stage of our financial pile of crap. And here I thought that they could only touch your paycheck..well that joke was on us. Happy February Capitol One! You can seriously suck my ass. (Sorry to those who uhm.. are like family and stuff that read this.. I am doing my therapy here hope you understand..major therapy in progress! just move along!).
(Also, don't show the kids this post).

We have to keep our checking account or else we'd have a super hard time getting Natalie's SSI payments. Ah yes! I'm sure the banks would love to take that too! And they can! So, now I have to figure out a crafty way to avoid this. And we also get our paycheck direct-deposited which I'm sure the banks are just drooling over that! So as you can see, I have to keep the checking account but somehow I have to be faster than the hunger-driven banks. This is the thing, yes asshole rich bank, I DO owe you money, but didn't you take a fucking quick glance at my accounts to see that our family of 4 does not have much? You took at least 55% of everything we had in our accounts. And I'm sure that whoever was in charge of doing that laughed at us. At least it feels like they would.

I have to make this known- I'm not denying our debts, I just can't believe that they took every penny.

But at least now we know the garnishment process has started and we have to find a way to protect our assets, what little we have to survive. And I know for a fact that Capital One was drooling over our account hoping to god that our savings had our tax returns piling up in there.

There are a million things we've already learned and have taken to heart during this financial shit storm, but one of the big ones is to completely avoid all credit cards, lines of credit, whatever it'll be called.. in the future, at all costs. I don't care if Suze Orman would disagree with me or not. I would rather live off of our own income, dollar for dollar, for the rest of our lives than to ever fill out any application for credit again. We are better than that, now. We know better than that. We've been credit card-less for 3 years now and we actually only know that way now and we won't change something that's working.

We live within our means now. Yeah, we were forced to, but goddammit if it wasn't the most brutal and eye-opening lesson we've ever received. I'm very thankful for that.
And I'm pretty sure more lessons are coming.....

Wanted: closure.

When I was a young kid, I remember my mom having conversations with other moms about "mom stuff". You know, pretty much the same stuff that you and I would talk about if we chatted it up? Since the beginning of time, I'm pretty sure not too much has changed. Well, okay I'm sure some of it has.. we've graduated from "I just have to tell you how Timmy makes me so angry, he just WON'T learn how to make his own fire at bedtime..he just throws stones at me!" to well.. you can probably just fill in your own blank.

One of the things I remember was how everyone thought my mom was single. 

My mom wasn't single. But I can say that my dad never once visited the schools we all attended, not a single time. I remember my mom's reaction to people thinking she was the parent of (at that time) 6 kids. She would sort of pause.. and look away, usually down at me, and then say how my dad was just at home. She would make it sound like my dad was a "stay at home daddy". My dad was at home, never worked, but he didn't care for any of us. I mean that in both ways- he was depressed about being a father and he didn't do anything with us kids when in his care. He was a true hermit.

I love my dad. I mean, I can't say that he was the worst person to walk the earth when he was alive. But he was a sick guy. He was very depressed and battled with alcoholism for years. Years that pretty much took over my whole childhood. I don't remember seeing my dad sober in the late evenings. Early mornings when we would all get up for school, he was usually heading to bed after drinking all night.
And my dad didn't go to the corner bar. He stayed at home and drank, which if I can give him an bonus points at least he didn't drive anyway. We didn't own a car at all growing up so those were easy points I suppose.
I remember after he had his first heart attack, he said that he was going to eat right and take better care of his body. That meant from switching to cans of beer from his usual Peppermint Schnapps.

My dad passed away a few days before James' 2nd birthday from his 2nd heart attack. When his body was found in his apartment it was noted that there was a can of beer on the kitchen counter.
To this day... to this very day I wonder if he relapsed. He was sober for a good 12 years and had a relapse about 3 years after he quit drinking alcohol. I remember him telling me how upset he was with himself with that relapse. But he got right back on track and did everything he had to do to make sure he stayed sober. I was always in awe of him. I saw him in 2000 and in 2002 while he lived in Portland, OR and the first thing I always noticed right from leaving the airplane was his smile.
My dad never smiled when we grew up. He hated his rotting teeth, sure. But he couldn't smile. He didn't have a single feeling in his body to make him smile.

I always go back and forth with being upset about my shitty childhood and with how much my dad changed when he was sober. It was a pleasure to see him sober. It was a life-changing moment for him and for me. I got to know how this person really was instead of an overweight, super-depressed, angry guy that would shoo me away if I asked for homework help. He was a really nice guy.

Now that I'm 33 and I will sometimes go to those memories in my brain and then I feel upset about my dad neglecting us- that moment I saw him truly sober for the first time helps me to cope with it all. A year after my dad started his sober journey, you could tell he was in the middle of a very exhausting war, but he was fucking winning it. And he was feeling a little proud of himself. He didn't feel defeated. He felt hopeful. You could see that in his face and I remind myself of that whenever I get angry at him.

I get angry that he's not around anymore. He can't be a grandpa, a dad-in-law to a man who he would LOVE and never even met. He can't be my dad anymore and it makes me so angry. I wanted him to see how awesome little kids could be when you're sober and he would have loved James and Natalie. He would see how quirky they are and know that some of that comes from his quirky daughter who comes from a quirky father. He would see how beautiful that is and he's missing it.

But someone is definitely watching out for Natalie.. I've been convinced more than once that Natalie was comforted by some of our closest family members who have passed away in the past few years. "They" are also why she gets through her life thriving the way she does. I've had so many dreams where my dad was hugging her and even just typing that makes me tear up. I know that he's around her when she's in the hospital..I've felt it many times.

So it's been 4 years that he's been gone and I still wonder why that can of beer was found in his apartment. Isn't that kind of silly? I wonder what he was going through.. He would never just call me up to tell me that he was having a rough time. And actually, he didn't speak to me for over a year before he death and it took me a long time, but I realized why.. things probably weren't great for him. Here I was, raising a toddling baby and an infant..I know my dad because he would say something like "well I knew you were busy with the kids..."
It's just frustrating. For some reason, today is just one of those days where I miss him like hell. I know it's probably typical for someone like me to have "daddy issues" but most of the issues I have are with how I never really got closure with my dad's death. I don't have a single thing, other than a few photos, that belong to him. It's hard.

But it just makes me hug my husband more because I lucked out in the daddy, husband department.

Big time.

maybe I should marry my phone. Or not. Hm.

I never thought I'd be the type of person who is completely attached to their fancy cell phone. But let me back up here, what "type" am I talking about? I can't speak for everyone, but I can that for me, I fall into the category of "mom", "obsessive compulsive", "lover of gadgets", "in need of something to distract herself with", and "constantly never wanting to miss anything".
That pretty much describes why I love my iPhone. And yes, it's the $50 phone that I got a year ago. I love that phone more every day. Just for poops and giggles, I snagged a photo of what my screen looks like. Don't you like kind of sneaking a glance of what other people's phones look like? No? Just me?

 I'm going to make fun of myself for a quick minute here. I don't use a few of the things here (which may seem obvious) because look! the "newstand" is totally empty. That looks sad. I also don't use the "productivity" stuff, because I guess I'm just not productive enough. I barely use Netflix or Blogger or Foursquare. But you know me, I use WebMD often! Perfect for those "on the go" freak out moments of health! Foodily is ok I guess. I'm also obsessed with the "App Store" when there's an update. I have to update RIGHT AWAY, RIGHT NOW! There was an update this morning and I don't know why I get so excited about that. Maybe because before clicking on it you don't know what it is. It could be a Facebook update! Or even a Google+ update. But no, it ends up being like a useless update for one of your useless free apps. Here Natalie, here's a stupid update for your Barbie Fashion thing.
Sigh. Maybe tomorrow. 

bittersweet.

I read a post very recently from one of my favorite heart moms. It's right here if you'd like to read it, too:

http://whenlifehandsyouabrokenheart.blogspot.com/2012/01/i-think-i-want-to-throw-up-now.html

The title of her post is exactly how I feel, too. I am kind of scared of Natalie going to kindergarten in the fall. See, I know that she has to go. It's part of her growing up and being as "normal" as possible. There's a tiny part of me inside somewhere that is really excited about this part of her life coming up. I love seeing my children grow up, even if they are still very young. 

I had a bit of anxiety when I signed James up for kindergarten last year. All I could think about where the germs, the constant germs, how he'll get Natalie sick, how he'll get sick all of the time, and how different it would be for him. I was so scared that graduating from a calm preschool environment (where the regularly wash their hands) into a very large kindergarten classroom would be a nightmare. Well, a little nightmare. He barely gets to even wash his hands, let alone even use hand sanitizer. I haven't figured out yet if he's just choosing not to do it, because he is a boy. In preschool he had someone making sure he was doing something so simple. In kindergarten he's just another kid..in another classroom..in another big huge environment..with not enough eyes watching him.

I don't even think it's the germs that scare me so much anymore. It's more about the major structure change of regular elementary school that scares me. Because in August, Natalie will be lumped in there, too...and I want to cry. 

I hate that I can't homeschool the kids. I hate that I don't even know if I could homeschool the kids. Lots of factors that I thought about and as usual with most life decisions, home schooling is kind of pricey. 

And as much as I hate to admit it, Natalie really needs the socialization. That's also why I never home schooled James- he's way too social of a kid to be at home a good part of the time. I would feel weird to try homeschooling one kid but send the other one to public school. Just wouldn't feel right.

With how rough and tumble kids are.. how bullying starts at the early age of 5 now.. I'm so scared that Natalie will get hurt. I'm so scared that the school won't look out for her. I'm kind of scared that she'll be perceived as so normal-looking that everyone that works at the school will forget about her special heart. It's like.. you hate to point out the heart condition so much but in this case, I feel like I'll never point it out enough. I can picture, in my head right now, Natalie being like 8 and rolling her eyes at me for all of this. Saying something like, "okaaaay mom... gaaahhh", with her hands on her hips. 

Natalie is rough and tumble. She's just as strong and energetic as any other 4, almost 5 year old kid. And I know that wherever she goes to school she'll have 2 parents advocating the hell out of her. We'll constantly be reminding school officials about her condition and disability status. I just don't want anything to happen to her. This is so silly I know.. I just get so scared that a classmate will slam onto her chest at recess..something like that. The teacher liaison at James' school suggested I have Natalie wear a chest protector at school. I don't even know how I feel about that. I mean, it would actually highlight her disability even more. I know... there's no way to make me happy here. It's like, do I highlight it or have her pretend like she doesn't need protection. 

I just want her to be okay. 

This summer, we're definitely moving to a different place. We'd really like to move to a different county altogether, but the only real requirement is that we have a little more space for the kids and the neighborhood needs to be a little better. Let's face it, our income keeps us in the low-income elementary school bracket. There's a pretty big chance that the kids are going to end up at a school a lot like the one where James is now. On a weekly basis, James is getting pummeled by some kid at recess. Some days it's just an accident, others it's not. I also know that James is a boy. The girls in his class stick together, usually out of harms way. 

To be even more realistic, I could send the kids to a 5 star school and there's still just as much chance of getting hurt. It just really doesn't matter. I hope that when we have our 504 plan all set in place, that Natalie will be taken care of and looked out for. It's the biggest thing I can wish for. I think it's the biggest thing we wish for all of our children- heart healthy or not. 

James and the Giant Peach.

*James is reading chapter books now. I can't believe it. I mean, I can believe it because he's such a bright guy. But.... my son.... is..reading...chapter..books. Totally blown away.

*James has a new BFF in his class and it's a girl. He whispers to me that they're boyfriend and girlfriend. I wonder what that means in kindergarten. Does he share his scissors with her? Do they swap lunches? Do they read together? It all sounds cute. He gets so embarrassed when I tease him about it. I only tease him a little bit, because it's my job. And when he has something new to tell me about her he comes to me and whispers it. So, I don't think I'm embarrassing him enough.

*When it's Friday morning, I can wake James up with total ease. He bolts right up and jumps off of the top bunk full of excitement. He has already learned that the weekends are the BEST. When it's Friday evening he asks "do I got to school tomorrow?" and when we say "nope" he lets out a big "YEEESSSS" with a fist pump! When it's Sunday afternoon, almost evening he asks if he has to go back to school the next day. When we say "yup" he lets out a big "AWWW NOOOOO" with no fist pump.

*James is still the only boy in his class that treats the girls like little ladies. The rest of the boys are rough and just.. well...crazy. I keep telling him how great it is that he's so sweet to them. I guess maybe I'm doing something right at home.

*When James was sick last weekend he handled it so well. Granted, it was just a cold but even when he was a baby, he would get sick and just sleep, even all night. There was one night where he had a hard time with a really stuffy nose, but he still just laid there and relaxed in his bed at 3:30am. Don't tell Natalie, but he's my favorite sick kid. (sorry Natalie... but you're my favorite little lady).

*Kids in his class call him "James and the Giant Peach".