I never realized it until today. Or should I say, I never admitted it to myself before until today, that I have a mental bucket list. I read other people's lists and admire them.. but I never make one for myself. It's all up here, in my noggin. And I'll keep adding to it. One wish at a time.
One of those wishes is to visit the Netherlands. Amsterdam to be a teeny tiny more exact. I have Dutch heritage, and while I know of no living ancestors thanks to my weird family, it'd be nice to see where a part of me comes from. And no I don't want to visit there only because of the pot. Or the prostitutes that hang out in windows all night. Or because things are so carefree there. For some reason I am drawn to that place. And if it is because of the pot so what? I don't even smoke it but it'd be so awesome to just waltz into a "cafe" as they call it, and stare at those who partake in that type of "activity". Just watch them. And probably giggle a bit from the contact high.
I like quotes.
I haven't smoked pot in a few years. Even when I tried it it made my anxiety way worse. Other people get the munchies. I get the FREAK OUT episodes deep inside my head.
It's just not for me. I much prefer to freak out totally sober. Which is boring, I know.
I tried to make the switch from caffeinated tea from my 1 cup a coffee a day habit. Let's just say, it wasn't cool of me to try that. At least not now. Not yet. The kids were blown away about how grumpy mommy gets. I know they thought I was losing it those days.
I can't believe how weird and crazy I get without coffee. And I have to type this again, I drink about 1 cup a day. It really is a drug. I wouldn't go as far as to call it "liquid crack" but it kind of is like liquid meth. Or at least that's what I pretend it to be.
Natalie told me today that she wants to be a big sister. I believe her. But I know that owning a dog in the future would take care of that need. She just wants something to follow her around instead of how things usually are for her- she following her big brother around.
The whole cat thing didn't work out for mah lungs. Can't do that again. Sorry Natalie.
It's been so incredibly warm and beautiful here in Denver for the past several days. All of the humungous snow mounds from winter have just about all melted away. All that's left are dirty piles of dirt and rocks in their place. I love that. My mood also loves this weather. No matter how exhausted my lazy ass is, I still make sure to get Natalie outside during the week. She's already acquired new freckles on her cheeks and James is more tan than ever. He's also acquire new freckles on his nose.
The kids really need to take separate baths now. Gosh, why am I so lazy that I still wash them together? Things are really going to get weird when they're like 8 and 9. Ew. Nah. I won't let that happen. And I can't let that happen. I think there's like a law about that, or something.
James loves LOVES showers. Natalie HATES hate showers. I think that's my source for laziness right there. Also, the environment!!!! Well, maybe.
There's a tiny possibility that the husband may be able to re-enroll at school again next month. He's so hopeful. Gosh, so am I! He really misses it. I miss it, too. Watching him study and draw diagrams and label things and study with his glasses.. and then say something like "you know, your longissimus capitis is an amazing muscle that..." and then I zone out. But I like hearing all of that boring medical language. It makes me feel smart just pretending to listen. ; )