Sunday, January 9, 2011

there's just so much.. where to start?

It's been almost a month since my last post. 

In complete and utter honesty, I don't know where to start. THANK GOODNESS FOR YE OLDE BULLETS. Okay, some of these "*" will do. Because for real yo, I have no way of knowing where this is all going to go. Except that I can say for sure that I'll probably have to include a half-time break in between this post.. 

*Watching the Ravens vs. Chiefs game right now and all I keep wondering is, "where in the hell is Kansas City?" I never claimed to be the brightest crayon in the box. And also, wow! we're able to watch a REAL football game on our cable-less television. 

*I'm starting to realize that balancing full time work and being a parent is HARD. All of you working (or even used to work moms and dads?) you are my heroes. My husband? Is a hero. He completely rocks at being a stay-at-home dad now (SAHD for those in the know). I whole-heartedly feel that he's better at this gig than I ever was. And I'm totally okay with that. In fact, I'm beyond proud of him. 
One of our biggest relationship issues for the longest of time was how I hated being a stay at home mom. I loved being home with the kids, but not Monday through Friday and in some weeks, Monday through Monday. Now, I appreciate the days that I have off of work. I don't have a set schedule so my days off vary. Take this weekend for example, I'm off. But usually I work most weekends. Which if I can sidetrack for a second, I actually love working weekends. It's laid back. It's quiet. It's actually kind of fun. Also, I get to wear jeans instead of my already bleach-spotted black pants (black pants are usually required). Totally other sidetrack- I love working at a place that encourages the use of bleach. The head administrator LOVES the smell of it. If only they made those little pine-shaped trees in the scent of bleach, I would totally get her one. 
Have to think more about this.. new invention perhaps?
So yes, our roles have switched and I'm firmly believing that it's making our marriage even easier to handle. I say that, because 2010 (IT'S OVER!) was the hardest year that he and I had ever dealt with. I think he would agree with me when I say this- we almost didn't make it. Purely financially speaking. Love is there, but goddamn if being broke didn't almost take us out. But after successfully surviving the "year from hell" we are even stronger. Feeling misty-eyed right about now. 

*The "year from hell" began on a scary (yet positive) note and ended beautifully. The year of 2010 began with Rick and I completely anxious and terrified about Natalie's open heart surgery.. to an extremely successful surgery.. to a Hanukmas that was the best we've ever had, at least for being in Colorado and away from some loved ones. Many of those months in between..February through November (except for the part where Gammy visited us) can all become a distant memory. 
We started 2011 with paying our rent ON TIME for the first time in many months..again, thanks to some beautiful people. You guys.. seriously.. I hope if you're reading this you know how awesome this is. We paid our rent on time! And also? We get to finally buy Rick his new glasses that he's needed since last summer. We'll be taking care of that Friday, when I'm off again. 

*Yes, our condo is getting ready to foreclose. It's in the process right now. I think the preliminary court stuff (see, I don't even understand the most basic of proper court words) began in mid-December. Now we wait for that to finish so we can gather every debt we have to FINALLY complete our bankruptcy. And yes, "we". Because that's what we have to do. Both of us need to wipe that slate clean. Any tax return we receive goes to that fund. Again, the most mind-numbingly and impatient thing we need to do right now, is make sure every single debt is included in the bankruptcy. Because there's just nothing like completing your bankruptcy and having 3 more debts bite you back out of no where. 
Really does depress us about that condo. We talk about it often and how much we miss it. But, we are moving forward and moving forward is all we can do for now. 

*We have found an excellent public school for James and if we're still in this same apartment, for both Natalie and James. It's a "blue ribbon" school and they're test scores are off the charts. Our mouths dropped when we saw how consistently well the students have been performing for the past few years. Many are above the national average and that my friends? is why we are in love with this school. It also helps that it's only 13 minutes away and a straight shot down the road. The start time is at 7:55 am. Natalie's 2nd year of preschool (which will be at the same school again.. at least, we hope for that) starts at 8:15am. Couldn't be more perfect. 
The whole world of elementary school is a dizzy situation for us over here but as long as we keep taking in every ounce of advice and be as involved with James' school as possible, I think we'll be just fine. 

*I had yet another dream last night of being pregnant with our 3rd. The fact that many people we know are expecting babies soon is probably the culprit. Last night's dream consisted of our child being born and then me fast-forwarding to the baby's 8 month..because there is no way I could handle a newborn ever again. I think it's safe to say that I'm happy to be done with having children but I'm also sad.. but more happy than sad even after 6 months of being post-op. The only thing I'm not diggin' from having that surgery is that I think I may need some help in the hormone department. Without going into too many details (especially about something that many probably don't want to know) I can just tell that something needs an adjustment. I'm tired all of the time. Yes working doesn't help, but I can feel my body being drained to the point where I feel drained 24/7. I'm also always on the verge of losing my cool just like any woman does when they're PMSing. But this everyday for me. 
But, I'm confident that I'll get this under control and in all fairness, it has only been 6 months. I hear it takes about a full year to become completely healed and well.

(seriously, go take a break and come back to finish reading..and while you're at the fridge, grab me some dip m'kay?)




I have about a million more things to mention.. such as a really cool CHD radio show that my sister hosted a few days ago and had Lauren and I as guests.. also how CHD Awareness week is coming up which is February 7th through the 14th and so on and so on..but I'm saving that for a few more posts this week. I don't want to lump everything together just yet because each of these things deserves it's own post. 

Lastly, I wanted to mention that Natalie's 1 year Fontan anniversary is coming up in a few days- January 12th actually. 
1 year.... 
Can you believe it? Seriously think about it... 1 ...whole...year!

And to end this mixed up post perfectly, I will now show you recent photos of the kids among some other things.. some were taken by me and most were taken by Rick. Enjoy and I'll catch ya on the flip side. Okay, I don't even know what that means.. but hey, I'll work more on my slang...

 on the light rail going home... oh going home.. 3 great words. 

 (a drawing courtesy of Natalie.. in order this is James, Mommy, and Natalie)
 and this is what it looks like outside of our front window right now..


Don't give up on your dreams said...

Dawnie, I love love love that you wrote. I miss your writing. Yes, it's so difficult to actually find time to do everything you once did because you had "time" to do it... Even when you had "time" you really didn't.
As for the SAHD part of Ricky, that's so great! I'm so thankful that you have regained that strength that was lacking primarily because of financial difficulties. It sucks so much that the entire life we live has a lot to do with having to have MONEY! It controls everything, everyone, and relationships truly take a toll on you when you're in such hardships!
It is truly amazing that it's already been a year since Natalie's surgery! Dawn, she's truly grown into a beautiful young lady. She has ALWAYS been precious to me, but she's just grasping onto my heart more and more as the days go on.
Keep kicking ass at work girl. I'm proud of you!

Stefenie said...

It's hard to be a fulltime working momma. I was one for three years and it was tough trying to balance everything. Glad you are enjoying it though ans things are falling into place for you guys!!

Misty said...

I'm so glad Natalie is doing well 1 year after her surgery!! You've got beautiful kids! I'm your newest follower, my son has a CHD and will soon be having surgery & reading your blog has given me so much hope! Please check out my blog as well

Chicke3 said...

Im so glad everything is going well for you! I miss you guys terribly!