We lost the house a few days ago and we are all crushed. Because at the last minute we had to make the sad realization that renting anywhere else is not feasible for Rick and I right now. In reality- we are stuck. Luckily we are stuck with options later on, but just not for now. No one wants to rent to a family that's in the process of bankruptcy- simple as that. We're too much of a liability and we are too honest. Part of me wanted to punch myself in the leg for even telling any potential non-credit-checking landlords, but then I always immediately fall back into the whole "well.... they coulda found out anyway and then we really get in trouble". Honesty, unfortunately and as shitty as it can make things, is always the best policy.
I am also an awful liar. I'm great at telling you my whole story to where I can't shut my mouth hole, but lying? well.. I just can't help you there.
Now a secret. I can keep a secret! I have other people's secrets still in my head that I will take with me to my grave- but that's only because it involves their quest to keep it that way. If anything involves my own personal struggles and bullshit, you can pretty much count on me to not be able to bullshit my way out of anything.
The anxiety was seeping into my brain immediately after we found out about losing the rental home. Not only because "oh SHIT where do we go from here?" but "oh SHIT where are the kids going to go to school?" I only wanted a whole house for the kids. Not for me (although I would have enjoyed the rewards) but it was for the kids- so they could attend a decent school and have a bigger space to claim as their own and make mommy clean it up.
We have about a month to move and we made the crucial decision to err on the side of caution and just stay where we are until next summer.
We're lucky to be have choices. Shitty choices, or so we think, at times. But there are choices and we had to choose what was best for everyone. Kicking and screaming? absolutely. Like a baby. I was truly pissed off that I had to make this kind of decision after 2 full months of active searching. A few filled out applications, super sore right shoulder, wrist, and arm from Sunday through Saturday online list searches, $45 in packing materials, a full tank of gas, and $32 (that a potential landlord pretty much claimed as theirs even though we never filled out the application), and HUGE dose of reality later......
and we are left with being where we originally were left.
And 2 days later.....
I'm okay with it. I'm truly getting used to it because we've been in this apartment for 2 years. We even contemplated moving into another 2 bedroom apartment but why? what for? that makes no sense. Now the kids will know exactly where they're going to school in the fall. James kept
I feel like, even though the universe sort of pushed us into our decision, I appreciate the large nudge because it gives us a chance to get past so much this year..
Our bankruptcy should be finalized before September. Then, we can accumulate our emergency savings, we will be able to take small vacations once in a while (Rick is already accumulating vacation time at work), and by next summer, Rick graduates with his Massage Therapy degree. It gives me time to sign back up for courses this year and figure out what I need to do. It also gives us time to save for our own house and our credit will no longer be a big issue. We'll have MORE options by next summer.
The eternal optimist... I'm kind of annoying that way. Just as annoying when I kick and scream when pushed into situations. ; )