Sunday, April 22, 2012

on lying.

My ultimate biggest most enormous parenting pet peeve is....   I'm sure you read the title, maybe?

Yep. You guessed it- lying. I hate lying and being lied to.
It really is the worst offense when it comes to knowing me at all. And I'm not even going to touch the subject of adults lying to adults. That deserves a whole novel.
No..I have 2 children that love to lie.

Okay, I'm not sure if they're loving it, but they certainly don't hate doing it. And they definitely try their best at piling as many lies as they can on top of the other.
Here's the other half part of my lying pet peeve.. lying about really stupid stuff.

Today I had had it. I usually stay pretty cool and calm when it comes to the kids. Sure, I yell as much as any other parent. Probably not enough if you ask me. I really do battle the whole idea of the kids taking advantage of me. And let's really be real here- it's not a "whole idea" of the taking advantage part. It's something I battle when it comes to everyone in my life. Folks, you are looking at a doormat. I'm not as bad as I used to be pre-baby days. But for 33 years I have been walked all over and when I found out I was pregnant with James, I vowed (fist shaking at the sky and all) that I would be damned if my own children were to use me as their personal mat to rub their muddy shoes all over.

I think I'm not handling it as well as I hoped. But I'm not doing the shittiest job with it, either. I know how to say "no" and I have a harder time saying "yes".

But lying....

Today I really got angry when the kids lied to me about a few things and it was all back to back. About a really dumb thing- I gave the kids fruit snacks. Natalie has finally got out of hiding her empty wrappiers underneath the tissue box on the coffee table. Yes, you read that right. I would clean the table and find like 3 neatly flattened Sunkist wrappers piled under the tissue box.
Then there's James- who usually ends up being really messy and throws his cheese stick wrappers everywhere. I cringe when I clean the inside of the couches. And seriously let's be real here- I'm not going to give my children a special treat for cleaning up their crap. Fuck that. You clean your stuff up because you have to clean your stuff up. I refuse to coddle my children when it comes to them being nasty on purpose and really sneaky.
So today.. someone threw their wrapper on top of my clean laundry and I calmly asked "who did this?" and like you can imagine both kids pointed their fingers, in unison, at each other.
That went back and forth for at least a full minute.

I yelled at James and sent him to his room after figuring out he was the culprit.
But then.....   I glance over to Natalie on the couch and she's smiling.
I glance over to James and he's sobbing and still claiming his case that he didn't do it.

That, right there had made me realize that I had punished the wrong kid.

After 3 minutes of intense interrogation, it was Natalie. She finally admitted that she did it.

Sucker punch to the guts.
I ended up having to take Natalie's new toy away for a whole week. James was still sobbing after that and Natalie tried to say she was sorry and he was so upset with her. I was glad that he told her that because then she was sobbing.

Nothing like a touch of guilt to let the 'ol soul feel alive right?

Lying..... worst invention ever. I parent with the whole belief that a healthy sense of fear of your parents is a good thing. In this house the only thing the kids are afraid of is me running out of cheese sticks and fruit snacks.

No comments: