Wednesday, June 1, 2011

babies, Babies, AND MORE BABIES.

Wow. You guys are having lots of babies. Babies here, babies there, babies every every where.

Alright, so I should probably start with how I'm really feeling when I first hear about someone expecting.. or adopting.. or pushing out a new squishy baby.
I do feel kind of sad. I don't rush to the "well why not me?" way of thinking.. but I do immediately think about how much I love.... loved... and sort of miss being pregnant.
Dare I say it? but I feel very jealous of you new mommies out there. Big time.

Aside from the day and night feeling of wanting to barf my insides out, I loved every second of it. It also ended up being the only reason why it was easy for me to quick smoking. I still don't smoke cigarettes thanks to my children. Yes, they saved their mama. 5 years of no smoking that I feel hopeful added a few extra healthier years to my life.

I miss being able to fart whenever I wanted. I miss eating (almost) whatever I wanted.. except for those raw hotdogs.. probably not good that I consumed as many craved raw hotdogs that I had. I miss having to be responsible for someone other than myself as far as survival in my own body went. Good thing I didn't give birth to a raw hotdog eh?
I miss the big 'ol belly and seeing it move because of fetal hiccups and the occasional repositioning of whatever that fetus is trying to do in there. Sometimes, I was convinced that James was trying to kill me and my bladder but even that was okay. I remember being terrified that he was going to make my stomach explode. And it's already bad enough that your intestines are pushed so far up into your ribs.
Come to think of it though, I don't miss the pelvic pain and constant Snap, Crackle, and Popping I had when I was trying to move. I also don't miss the sciatic pain. Hmm....
I don't miss the constipation.. the loss of sleep before the baby was born.. and the constant drippy nose I had. Please don't even get me started on the "imbalance" I had when it came to my vagina.. a vagina that I pretty much gave up on because I couldn't see it for several months. And why would I want to look at it anyway.. other than to apologize to it to prepare it for birth. Speaking of imbalance, I had no balance! I know that I looked like a Weeble walking around. I see these beautiful and very large pregnant ladies walk around so gracefully and I just don't get it.

Come to think of it... I think I feel better now. Well, for a minute or two...

2 comments:

Living proof that love can sustain even the roughest patches said...

LOL. Dawn, I must say, I feel the same way when it comes to seeing all of these new babies around. My dear friend just had a boy last week and man does it have me a bit jealous. It makes me realize how much I adore itty bitties... But I guess at the same time it allows me to focus on the greatness that Claire is. D and I sure do want more, we know we do, and well Claire does too, but really in a world this small with all of these kids running around it makes the world seem so much smaller as it is and they've not even reproduced yet. Just makes me wonder how many people are going to be in this world when I'm dead and gone since there are so many already. If another child is in our future, it's not seen as of yet as to how, but it would be welcomed w/out question, but for now, focusing on Claire and getting her where she is needed to be as a maturing child, that's where our primary concerns stay.

Judi Honafous said...

Dawn,what you are going throug now is absolutely normal. I had exactly the same dreams of being pregnant again and enjoying that little of life that was taking what seemed like forever at time to cook in my rotund belly. I loved both of my pregnancies' like you because we love the precious gifts we were given. All the kicks, bounces and discomforts were

wonderful memories that you will feel blessed each time you think of all the people who are having babies now. :} Judi