what I learned today...

1.) That no matter how much you trust someone, sometimes there are unfortunate instances where that trust is broken. And then thrown back at you. Then you're left standing behind to pick up any broken pieces left over and turn that into something positive. "They" say turn lemons into lemonade.. well at this rate we have nothing to turn into something.

2.) That it hurts even more that my children are affected by someone's wrong-doings.

3.) Bad things that happen to you do make you stronger in the long run, but I still can't figure out when "in the long run" is going to happen.

4.) To never EVER EVER EVER listen to someone gossip ever EVER EVER again. Even if that means I feel like I have to defend myself or a family member because it is about me or a family member, I really should just keep my trap closed and walk away. Not keeping my trap closed, no matter how right I think I am or maybe I really am, doesn't get me anywhere closer to feeling better and it's unknowingly part of the problem. And not only that, but it just makes me look like an asshole just as much. Gossip is pure evil and anyone that does it is usually bored and I really should find a way to not take it personal, even if it is purely personal.

5.) That no matter how much guilt I do feel, I only feel guilt because I don't like how a whole problem turned into something it shouldn't have. And that anyone who contributes to a family being jobless right at the holiday season should be the one feeling the guilt. But, someone has to be accountable and I will take that accountability if it means getting my family to be okay. I've been knocked down by people before and I always just get right back up and start over, with many lessons learned and ingrained in my head. I remind myself that I've been through rougher times than this and I will just move on like I always do.

6.) That you do good things for people strictly just to be nice. Not for good karma or bonus points or presents or achieving a friendship or whatever it is. I always follow that rule. It's never, "hmm.. what can I do for this person so they can do something good for me?" Don't be surprised if this backfires once in a while. No matter what you do.

***This entry is purely just to vent.. because I have to...because I NEED to. Not for any other reason. Also, because I hope one day my kids read this and learn a lesson, even if it's just a tiny one.***