easing up.

I need to quit being so hard on myself. It gets me no where and the added stress makes me less productive, thus creating a useless mom.

When times get really tough, like last week especially (oh last week.. ugh) I need to stop being so hard on Rick. He's my husband. He's my best friend, my partner in crime, but NOT my only confidante where piling everything on him makes for a good idea. He's just as stressed as I am but doesn't show it much. I need to stop thinking that he doesn't care. It's stupid.

I need to take an even bigger step back when it comes to Natalie and her well-being. This kid is solid (she is 40 lbs and counting!), as healthy as can be, and is more level-headed than I realize. Me being scared, for example, of her riding the school bus to her first field trip for the first time tomorrow will make her nervous. So, in reality I think my anxiety issues need to take a backseat on that bus and seriously chill out. Natalie, I have to keep cramming it in my head, is FINE. Seriously Dawn, chill out, yo.

I need to ease up on constantly being a parent 24/7 and every second of the day. I mean, I know I'm the mom but I don't have to talk to my husband like a mom OR constantly think of parent-related stuff. The occasional reading of parenting articles is just fine but sometimes I don't know when to stop trying to absorb information. Aside from great recipes, okay ideas, and some decent advice I've also gotten more confused in my parenting. Articles (going right along with the times) change from year to year. One year it's a great idea to take them to dentist RIGHT away while babies are really little..the next, "they" say to wait a while until they have more teeth. This is just a mild example of this, but I couldn't think of the many that conflict every day. I need to ease up with the 24/7 parenting AND just trust my gut. Also, just do what I know how to do- be a mom. I've been doing it for almost 5 years now. I hope that by now I'd know a little something.

I need to really believe people when they say they think I'm a good person and a good mom.
Why I challenge this and why I have such a hard time believing them has everything to do with esteem and guilt. Self-esteem that I still need to let grow and quit the trend of feeling like a 13 year old inside. Guilt continues only because I let it. Guilt for what? Really for what? I still can't figure that out. But I need to work on that and really ease up.

I need to ease up with my Facebook use. For reals.
I spend a lot less time on there especially lately. I pop in and out at random times of the day..maybe spending a few minutes each time. But I think I need to do more than that. I get easily overwhelmed with the amount of information coming at me in the CHD community. I freeze up and don't know what to do. It's better (and more productive for me in the long run) to just step back, enjoy Natalie's health, and stop worrying about every.single. family out there having a harder time. It actually makes me NOT appreciate Natalie more. It just makes me worry more. It's stressful. Selfish and stressful I guess. But if I don't then I'll be no real support to anyone if I don't step back.