the will of steel.

James has a will of steel. A will that so far, I can't break. I can.not.break.it. Well, yet.
Rick and I are working on it. We are constantly working on getting this 4 1/2 year old to poop in the potty.
GAH.
You can't tell, but we've been working hard at this for about 2 years now.
And something new happened to me yesterday while hanging out at my big brother and sis-in-law's home last night.. something that really made things click for me, while watching James beg and scream for a pull-up out of our blue bag to go poop in it..
I realized that he is laying down his own laws. His own rules that he feels right now can't be broken.
It took being out of our own home, TIME, and more time, to learn outside outside of our usual environment that there is nothing wrong with this kid. In fact, there is everything right about him. He is one stubborn and strong-willed little dude.

We were all waiting to go outside to swim in their pool and James was pulling this "fast one" on us. He was clenching his cheeks, running around screaming and crying, and Rick and I had our first witnesses to this... finally, 2 more people in our family witnessed the oddity that is this INSANE problem. My brother kept commenting that he has just never seen anything like it before.
It really is something that I just don't get used to. You can't.
We let him go in it, after fighting with James..which gets you nowhere.. after countless times of saying "hey, let's go sit on the potty.. we'll help you.. we'll clean you.. and when you leave here you can go get your new big-boy bike".. nothing. NOTHING worked. Even his Uncle Sean tried to help him.
After making him sit in the tub for about 20 minutes (lots more screaming included as a bonus) with his uncomfortable poop stuck to his bum.. and after I hid my feelings and felt guilty for doing it but also feeling SO DESPERATE TO GET HIM TO CHANGE HIS WAYS.. I cleaned him up and didn't allow him to go swimming.

We're still claiming his potty-training as a "work in progress".
For now, we're remaining firm. We're not going to say anything about his night time pull-up poops.. there is just no point.. after spending so much time making him sit on the toilet before bed.. we are going to just change him and not get upset with him..we'll just clean him up and back up in his bunk bed he goes. But during the day, he'll have to endure wearing the pull-up to really "get" how gross it is. But that's if he has the chance to do that..I hid his pull-ups. Once I'm feeling 100% I'm going to night-train him again and that way, he won't even have a pull-up to poop in.

All the while, Natalie watches this go on..
I can't even imagine what she's thinking.

There is a really cute book we found at the library that they both like.. gets quite a few giggles from me, too.. titled "Potty Poo Poo Wee Wee" and has a little dinosaur who poops anywhere and everywhere he feels. It's really cute.
We're holding on over here.... we are holding on.