I freak out when it comes to puke. Okay, let me rephrase that, I USED to freak out when it came to puke.
Until this morning.
Before I had kids I took pride in my puke-free streaks. I would be very proud of myself for keeping (no, WILLING) myself to not barf if I felt like I needed to. I could hold it down no matter how much my body hated to. No amount of alcohol took me down, either.
But my brain..it was all in the brain.
Until 2006 when I began taking some super-strong antibiotics and well, there is just no willing, bartering, or anything when it comes to upchucking from those horse pills. But I've been on my new streak since 2006 so that's not so bad.
I always have taken pride in my strong stomach. As a kid, I would catch what seemed like a yearly stomach virus and be fine within 12 hours. Then again, I was a kid. Kids are just lucky like that. And sometimes I wouldn't even catch what all of my other (at the time) 5 other brothers and sister had.
When you have your own kids you know that THE GERMS are going to be involved but when you have your first one you don't really know. With James, the spit up flowed like the morning rain and Natalie barely did. But spit up is amateur stuff. Even baby poop ain't got nothing on me. Even breast milk poop is for wimps.
Now, toddler and preschool-sized body fluids are whole fucking different ballgame let me tell you. No one...No one can prepare you for that. I don't care how many times I skim various diarrhea sections in "Toddler 411" it just doesn't cut it.
I did learn, however, how to handle puke. I still have to turn away when my kids do it (anyone for that matter) because seriously who wants to watch that? Who can? But right after turning away, I'm right there, front and center, cleaning them and "it" up.
And so when they upchuck like nobody's business, I am more prepared. I feel confident. I feel good. Especially if I'm armed with Lysol and sanitizers. Well, I do get a little scared of catching it, but let me tell you why my whole outlook completely changed within a quick minute this morning...
Please don't read if you have a weak stomach...
James woke up at some point in the night and well... how do you say?... decided to take his "soiled" (I actually hate that word..for some reason reminds me of something snotty to say) and put it everywhere.. his bed, his bedding, Natalie's bedding, the floor, the bed frames, THE FLOOR where the carpet is already intentionally shit-colored, and it was all over him.
I have now officially marked this day that I am no longer afraid of my kids "blowing groceries". I have now moved onto "other" things to be scared of.