Saturday, June 26, 2010

my thoughts vs. reality

My Thoughts: "Oh man, I can't believe I won't ever EVEREVEREVER be able to give birth again."
Reality Check: Do you really want to push out more big headed babies and get a 3rd episiotomy on top of the 2 botched ones..lose more blood.. etc?

MT: "I'm so scared about the blood loss that I may have during my surgery."
RC: What blood loss? You mean the amount of blood you WON'T be shedding every single month for the rest of your life? Well the satisfaction continues until menopause, which is a party in itself. Also, blood loss is very minimal. Check that out.

MT: "I'm terrified that I'll end up with bladder and intestinal problems afterwards."
RC: UHHH.. if you keep your uterus, you are sure to have bladder and intestinal problems afterwards. Check that out too.

MT: "What do I do with my birth control plan? It's going to go out the window that's going to be weird."
RC: YOU WON'T NEED A BIRTH CONTROL PLAN. Ever again. Your birth canal has retired. Enjoy.

MT: "I'm going to be so sore after this operation. How will I cope?"
RC: Lots of rest, TLC, and THC. Also, chocolate, your husband waiting on you, and your new computer to keep you company. Uhm, sounds pretty nice actually. Plus, you pushed out two big-headed children. That's way worse.

MT: "But I don't think I'm going to actually be able to have time to rest."
RC: You better. Sit yo ass down. You have family and friends who will know that you're cheating. They will sit yo ass down.

MT: "Man.. no more newborns. No babies."
RC: Enjoy your kids being past the crappy no sleep, non-showering, up all night, screaming, colicky, bottle addict baby phase. Your kids are 3 and 4. Then will be 5 and 6. And so on. The fun has barely started. And then, you can ship them out of your house in 15 or less years. At age 46 you will be free. FREE. And you'll still be one hot mama. And not too wrinkly yet.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I know it's a lot to take in when you have the reality thrown at you. I guess tho... You'll always be one hot momma!