utterly embarrassing.

I can take care of a post-op 6 month old or 2 year old from open heart surgery.
Take care of large incisions and make sure the proper meds are given.

I can pack up the entire apartment within a few days all by myself.
I can unpack it all, too.

I can have a laparoscopy and still take care of 2 heavy children, barely wincing from the pain.

I can give birth to 2 children via natural childbirth and heal quickly and even get up and out of bed within hours after.

I can successfully train them to be quiet and well behaved on the bus to and from taking James to school 4 days a week.

I can handle taking care of 2 wild kids all day long, mostly without a meltdown or headache.

I have been able to teach James different types of flowers, trees, insects, and dinosaurs and he can memorize names and descriptions.

James can tell me a great joke and make me laugh until I cry.

I can teach both Natalie and James how to say "please" and "thank you" and even, "oh are you okay?" if something happens to someone else. I can teach them compassion, how to behave properly in public, and do it all successfully.

I can teach them all of their colors, including "chartreuse", how to count to 30, their ABCs, and how to clean up their toys and keep them sorted.

..... but I can't teach them how to use the potty....

Okay, let me be fair here and more specific..

I can't get James to poop in the potty still so he is what I call "day trained".
He holds his poop all day long until nighttime and then let's loose.
We even put him on the potty before his bath, after his bath, and before he goes to sleep and he STILL let's it loose in his nighttime pull-up.

We have bribed him. We have bribed him with candy, money, and a new bike. A brand new shiny yellow bike. His trike is breaking down and he really really NEEDS a new bike.
But he won't poop in the potty so he will have no new bike for the summer. A more proper bike since not only is the trike breaking, but he is getting way too big for it since he's so tall.

Natalie sees this struggle that we're having with him. The day to day struggle that I am having with him while Rick is at work. She is learning bad habits and is now being just as stubborn as James.

Pull-ups, now, for Natalie are out the window. If we're out and about she can have one but that's it. She's getting better at staying dry with her underwear and today, she stayed dry for 5 hours! Every 20 minutes we'd nicely say, "It's potty time Natalie!"

"NOOOOO"

us: "C'mon Natalie let's go put some pee or poop in there".

And today we got lucky and she actually put some pee in it. And boy was she proud of herself. And she was able to get 3 M&Ms.

To me, it's more acceptable that Natalie is in the midst of potty training.

With James.. it's UTTERLY EMBARRASSING that I have to explain to people why he's not fully trained.
If only they knew what we've been through these past 2 years with trying to train him.

2. freakin. years.

I think calling him hard-headed is an understatement.

With James, we have consistently tried stickers, candy, new Matchbox cars, various other bribes, the constant talk of a new bike, a potty party, positive reinforcement, so much that I can't even think of right now.
Even telling him that all his classmates and his 2 young cousins are fully potty trained and poop in the potty doesn't phase him.
He just doesn't give a rat's ass.

I am at my wit's end with that boy.

Tomorrow morning, a potty training success chart will be on the wall for James and Natalie. I'll be armed with MORE stickers, positivity, and M&Ms.

If this doesn't work dear god help me.