where have my marbles gone?

So let's see.. James is 3 and Natalie is 20 months.
Two demanding..difficult..hilarious..sweet.."tantrumy" kids.
Halp.

No. Seriously it's challenging but it's not an impossible fete. But the words that keep spewing out of Ricky and I's mouths lately? -"When does it get EASIER???"
This usually occurs either during or after a difficult event with either kid of both kids at the same time.

They have learned to team up against us already. ALREADY!! And during the day it's two against one and they know it.
That is why each day ends with one headache pounded on top of the other for me.
Drink anyone?

But as the kids get more ..ahem..."challenging" they keep adding to the list of things they can do now. Each day they get more and more independent and secretly inside I'm screaming from the excitement but sometimes..sometimes..I get a little sad. Because I know these days are numbered with them being toddlers and how much longer are we able to nurture them? Okay, let me rephrase that- how long will they LET us nurture them?
And that brings me to one major thing that I really shouldn't complain about but can't help it.. Natalie's separation anxiety.
*big sigh*
It's incredible. And it's getting old. Real old. And fast.
I can't get anything done at all during the day now because of it.
It's so bad (particularly with while I'm home with her and Ricky's working) that she cries even if I'm more than 8 feet away from her.
Off to the bathroom to take a quick pee for me? Nope.. not without some screaming.
Off to the kitchen to get juice cups filled for the kiddies? Nope..intense screaming with full red face and swollen eyes.
And what's really interesting is that she's not really bad at all with it when it's the weekend and we're all home together. The crying is barely happening.
I can't tell if she hates being home with me during the day or if she just misses her daddy or she just wants more of her mommy? I'm going nuts trying to figure it out.

The walking? She's so tricky. She made a few steps each day since last Sunday but hasn't (or at least not that we noticed because she IS tricky like that) since Wednesday. And every time? She's had both hands filled with miscellaneous stuff and stares at us while taking her steps but only while we're busy with something else. It seems like she doesn't want us to see her doing it. Also, why we can't catch it on camera. We're still on the lookout for capturing this elusive walking.
Her speech?? Insanely good. Honestly you guys..I've lost track of her phrases and words because it's so much. Once she turned 20 months do the day it all came pouring out of her cute mouth.
And honestly you guys..I have severe "mommy brain"..no way I can remember it all. I can say this though- she is crazily focused on learning her colors, numbers, letters and shapes now. I don't remember James doing this at 20 months?? She asks what color something is and actually says "cuuwah is tis?" and holds it to us until we say what it is, repeats the color (ex."yeyow" for yellow..lol) and this goes on and on.
James? Is constantly asking about things in the world around him now. I have looked forward to this stage because he can ask me a gazillion questions and I love hearing his little voice, with his pondering look, and listening to every word of my answer. I. love. it. Of course I say this now but check back with me in a few more months.
He's really interested is what things say. Like, what the cereal box says..what a package says..what the side of his racing cars say, etc etc. by saying "What dis says mommy?" And honestly? How can you not laugh at the cuteness of him adding the "s" to say? It's so freaking cute.
And he's so patient. He will wait and let Natalie crawl by him when they're both on their way to the same spot or room. He patiently sits and waits for his breakfast in the mornings. His memory is so good, too. He remembers little snippets of things from even months ago..little things I've totally forgotten about that he and I found either funny..or something we just talked about that interesting. He brings it all up months later..and starts with "Mommy you remember....?" He's my sweetheart. He's my little guy. My little guy who will one day tower over me..probably wearing size 13 shoes (or bigger) and bending down to give me a hug. And then I'll get to tell him how hardheaded he is with potty training.
*even bigger sigh* (psssst..he uses the potty but only on his own terms and not all the time..so not there yet).

I refuse to pick favorites because both are so different. But their senses of humor are identical..strange and goofy kids. They think taking a baby doll and tossing it onto the floor is the funniest thing.
Should I worry about that?
But Natalie is still the wilder one..throwing things..her tantrums get kind of evil..and she's quick to hit one of us if she's angry. And that is why time-outs are not her friend. She hits James alot and this will show you how good he is- he never hits her back. He just moves away from her and let's me take care of it. And when we put her in time out? He feels bad. :(
Natalie actually fell out of her crib the other night (sidebar was down and she slid from the top even though yes, her mattress is as low as it can go, and she landed with ther back on the carpet..no bumps or bruises..and James still asks me if Natalie is okay).
Natalie is at that tough age. 20 months is TOUGH. James was hard to deal with at that time. I'd love to look back in this blog and see. I remember his horrible tantrums, too. The hitting..the biting..oh god the biting.
But she is still a sweetheart. Our strong-willed, tough as nails, hard-headed child who will melt your heart. And when she wants something will always end it with "Peeez?"